Art of Flirtation
by punnylove
Summary: In which Stella and Ray get stuck in a closet after an attempt to double-check on the wedding preparations for their best friends. "I can't believe Mo chose me to be her Maid-of-Honor knowing that Scott was going to choose you as his best man."
1. Chapter 1

_Reviews make authors want to update. Suggestions, comments, and constructive criticism are all welcome._

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><p><strong>Art of Flirtation<strong>

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><p>"So how's it going, Loser-Mouth?"<p>

"Oh, that's _so _original. What are we, back in high school?"

"Might as well be. You sure as hell haven't changed."

"Thanks."

"Wasn't a compliment, Yamada."

"I know, but you're so stupid that you don't know what a compliment is, so I can't take it personally."

"Touché."

"Do you even know what that means?"

"'Touché, an acknowledgement of when an opponent scores a hit, whether literal, or figuratively.'"

"...wow. Impressive, Beech."

"It's Ray."

"Uh, yeah. Not gonna happen."

"Now who's acting like they're in high school?"

"Excuse me? _You _called me Yamada first."

"Ah, but you never gave me permission to call you anything else, did you?"

"If that was an innuendo, _Ray_, I'm going to kick you so hard that your grandparents will be able to feel it. When did you get so smart anyway?"

"College does that to people. You know, the studying, professors, scholarly atmosphere—"

"—frat parties, constant sex, sororities. Mo's one of my best friends, Ray. You don't think word gets around?"

"Aw, is someone jealous?"

"Aw, is someone delusional? As if I'd be jealous of where you decide to stick your—"

"Hey, we're in a church. Watch the language."

"Ah, yes. The entire reason I'm spending my Saturday with you. I can't believe Mo chose me to be her Maid-of-Honor _know_ing that Scott was going to choose you as his best man."

"Speaking of which, isn't there a rule about the Maid-of-Honor and the best man always getting together?"

"Watch many chick flicks, Beech? And just when I thought you were actually the badass rocker jerk-face you always sell yourself as. Got anymore secrets I should know about?"

"Shove it somewhere else, Yamada. And seriously, are we back to last names again? I thought we were making progress."

"Why the _hell _would I want to make progress with you, Ray? I'm just putting up with you because Mo's my friend and I'm damn well going to make sure her wedding is the best thing these walls have ever seen."

"You sound like Scott. Seriously, he's my man but I'm going crazy with him worrying about the arrangements of the carnations that Mo's mother's auntie wants on her dress."

"…that was actually kind of funny. Congratulations—you've officially learned the difference between being an asshole and actually being humorous."

"Seeing that this is coming from the Queen of Comedy herself…"

"Are you saying I'm not funny?"

"Uh…hey, shut up. Someone's coming."

"Hey, what are you doing—ow!"

A thud. A door slamming shut.

"Oh. My. God. Please tell me that you did not just pull us into a closet."

"Ssh! In case you've forgotten, we're here to make sure everything's perfect—after hours. If we're caught, we could get arrested, and without me to kick his ass, poor Scott's going to freak out and leave his perfect little Indian bride at the alter. You don't want that, do you?"

"…fine."

A silence. The two stay perfectly silent, Stella determinately not focusing on the way she was pressed into Ray's body. The closet was small, and she could feel the back wall is she stretched out her foot. As the footsteps receded, she started trying to put some space between her and the male currently cradling her in his arms.

"Hey, Yamada?"

"Yeah?"

"I take that back. You've definitely changed since high school, and if you don't stop squirming, we're going to have a problem."

"I swear, Ray. If it wasn't for Mo, I'd beat your sorry—"

"Stella, I'm not kidding. Stop rubbing your ass over my crotch, or I'm not going to take responsibility for what happens next."

"I'm trying to off you, asshole."

"Where? There's no room."

"I don't know, anywhere's better than right—hey, watch your hands!"

"I think they're coming back!"

"What—mmph."

The footsteps pause too close for comfort and a flashlight's beam sweeps briefly under the door, but luckily, the guard doesn't try the knob. As the lights disappear, Stella realizes that Ray still hasn't removed his right hand from her mouth—or his left hand from around her waist.

"Get off!"

"Ow! Geez, Yamada, you'd think I'd been trying to molest you instead of saving your sorry ass."

"My ass is awesome, now open the door before I use your head as a battering ram."

"Alright, alright—" a pause. "Uh, Yamada? It won't open."

"What do you mean, it won't—" another pause. "Shit."

"Crap."

"Of all the days—"

"Of all the _people_—"

"You're lucky I'm not claustrophobic."

"You're lucky I told Scott we were coming. If we don't go back in a couple hours, he'll now something's up and come rescue us."

"Oh, good."

"I know."

"Don't push it—wait a minute. What did you mean, 'of all the _people_?'"

"I'm stuck in a closet the size of two chairs with a girl that hates my guts. What do you think I mean?"

"You have to admit, I have good reason."

"No, actually, you don't. We haven't seen each other for years! Under what possible evidence can you say that I'm still the jerk I was in high school?"

"So you admit it."

"Oh, for _heaven's _sake—we were teenagers! I was fifteen when everything happened, and the girl I'd been crushing on all year spit lemonade in my face. What was I supposed to do, roll over and let her and her new band kick us out of—oh crap. I said that aloud, didn't I?"

"…"

"…"

"…why don't you repeat that thing about the girl who spit lemonade in your face."

"It was nothing."

"Oh, no. That was not nothing. That was most definitely _some_thing."

"Brilliant, Yamada. I don't know what I saw in you."

"If you're pulling my leg, here, Ray. I'm going to have to kill you. You're telling me that you, Ray Beech, had a crush on me back in high school."

"You make it sound like a crime."

"You tried everything possible to destroy us! If you liked me so much, why the hell did you try so hard to shut us down?" Stella's eyes narrowed. "Unless—you were totally trying to get my attention."

"Why the hell are you laughing?"

"It's so damn cute! Ray Beech pulling a girl's pigtails because he has a crush and doesn't know how to tell her. I can't believe you never let me know. Even after Scott joined Lemonade Mouth—"

"You treated me like I had the plague. We couldn't spend two minutes together without biting each other's heads off!"

Stella leaned as far back as she could, trying to get a good look at his face. "Ray, Ray, Ray." She said, voice growing husky, "Want to hear a secret?"

Ray felt his eyes darken as she inched closer, closing the distance and sliding back into his lap. Stella's breath was warm as mumbled something into his neck, and Ray froze, trying not to let her nearness affect him. He was Ray Beech, for heaven's sake, he'd had more girls than he could ever hope to remember.

There was no reason why this free-spirited, independent woman should be making him react like a pubescent boy experiencing his first hormone rush.

Stella felt something hot stirring in her stomach as she heard Ray's breathing catch. She ran her hands higher up his muscled chest, letting them splay over his shoulders as she leaned up and whispered, "Guys who can hold their own in a fight…really turn me on."

She might have said more, but just then Ray forces his mouth over hers and suddenly they're kissing and grinding against each other and Stella realizes that nothing else needs to be said. Letting out a small moan as Ray's hands find their way under her shirt, she just hopes that Scott takes his sweet time before coming to find them.


	2. Chapter 2

_Don't know if I'll update, but if enough people review and tell me they want more, then it's a definite possibility._

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

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><p>"How long do you think we'll be stuck in here?"<p>

"Are you complaining? 'Cause if you're bored—"

"Don't even say it. I think my lips are swollen, you insensitive jerk."

"Oh, _sor_ry. I thought the way you were moaning meant you _liked _it."

"…it wasn't bad."

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you over the deafening silence."

"It wasn't _bad_, ok? Although, I'm sure you must have had a lot of practice with all those girls Mo tells me about."

"Again with the jealousy, isn't it getting kind of old? Besides, it's not like you waited for me either. What was what's-his-face's name—Horse Hay or something?"

"_Jorge_. It's foreign."

"I never got why foreign guys were so popular. I mean, give me the blonde, blue-eyed babes any day."

"…"

"Oh _shit_. Babe, I didn't mean—"

"That you like the all-American cheerleader type? Like that's big news. I mean, it's not like you dated any other type in High School."

"Stella—"

"Actually, let me rephrase. 'Dated' is kind of a strong word for what you were doing, wasn't it?"

"High School was a long time ago. I've changed since then. _You've _changed since then."

"Really? 'Cause after that bit about, and I quote, 'the blonde, blue-eyed babes,' it's hard to believe that you aren't still the asshole you were when you tried to bring down our band."

"…fine."

_A shocked silence. The girl's eyes narrow as she studies the boy's face, trying to hide the shock in her eyes and find out what's going on behind his at the same time._

"Come again?"

"You're right. After that comment, why should you believe I'm any different?" A pause. "Though, if you really believe that I still like blonde, blue-eyed chicks after what we just did, you're delusional. And possibly afflicted with short-term memory loss."

"That's me, the Dory to your Marlin. Wait—no, that doesn't work, because, if I recall correctly, Dory actually _remembers _stuff when she looks at Marlin."

"As disturbed as I am about being compared to a fish, I'd be more than happy to jog your memory."

"No. I'm still mad—and reeling in shock that you actually got the reference. What were we, fifteen when the movie came out?"

"I have a niece who loves Pixar." A smirk. "What about you, Yamada? You don't seem like the type to hunker down and watch animated sea creatures and their screwed-up lives."

"I'm not. Olivia's a sucker for those kinds of films. Couldn't refuse."

"How is she, anyway? Is she still together with…um…his name escapes me."

"Jack the Ass? Nope, thank _God_. Wen finally got his head out from under his behind and asked her out."

"You look suspiciously proud. Don't tell me Stella the Heartbreaker is actually Stella the Matchmaker."

"I might have had something to do with it. 'Livia's too shy and Wen's too dense to actually do anything, so they needed a little help." A pause. "And what did you just call me? Don't tell me you were the one who got that ridiculous name started."

"I plead the fifth. Besides, it wasn't as if it wasn't true. You were breaking hearts right and left, and you didn't even know it."

"Damn straight. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"…you're serious. You're actually serious."

"No, I'm totally faking it so I can listen to you tell me how awesome I am. My ego is definitely so shot that I'd stoop this low for a boost. I'm a fragile, insecure china-doll who's going to crack any second now—in fact, I think I'll just start crying about how horrible I am."

"Point taken. Shall I begin healing your fragile self?"

"Will you? _Real_ly? My hero." Hands clasped mockingly over her chest. "_Do _begin."

"Well, there was me, for one, but we've already covered that. Charlie—"

"Hold up, _our _Charlie? Drummer boy Charlie? You've got to be kidding, he's been head-over-heels for Mo since before we met!"

"And after she started going steady with Scott, he transferred his affections onto your lovely self. Poor boy isn't really lucky in love, is he?"

"I still don't believe it. Charlie's a close friend."

"Yeah, a close friend who wishes like hell he wasn't stuck in the friend zone. Now, moving on."

"There's more? You better not be pulling my leg, or Scott's going to have to find himself a new Best Man."

"Yamada, you seriously overestimate your physical prowess. I could totally take you in a fight."

"I happen to have a black belt in judo, courtesy of my little brothers' lessons."

"And I happen to own all the Jackie Chan movies, a killer right hook, and the power to make you moan like you've never done before in your life. Want to try me?"

"Pride goes before a fall."

"Presumption will push you off the cliff."

"So do bears."

"And murderous stepmothers."

"Angry criminals who have guns."

"…"

"…"

"How did we get on this topic again?"

"I believe we were discussing your fan club, Yamada."

"What are you spewing now? I did not have a fan club."

"You definitely had a fan club. Here, let me prove it. Where's my phone…"

_The sound of rummaging, a faint glow as the phone turns on._

"Good, it's not dead yet. Now, let me see—here it is."

"Oh. My. God. Where did they even take these?"

"Fans are insane like that. They somehow get places that no normal human should ever be able to go."

_A couple moments of silence as Stella scrolls through the website._

"Ok, this is just creepy."

"I actually thought it was kind of cute. The fierce Stella Yamada blowing bubbles."

"No, I mean it's creepy because this was in New York, when I went to visit my aunt."

"…ok, that is a little creepy. Want me to beat them up for you?"

"Aw, even though I'm not blonde, blue-eyed, and beautiful?"

"Even though you're not blonde. And blue-eyed."

"And beautiful."

His voice was uncharacteristically fierce. "You've always been beautiful, Stella. And if you don't stop with the insecure crap, I'm going to kiss you. Hell, I might kiss you anyway."

"Jerk." There was no malice in her voice.

"Yeah, I know."

_A pause. They sat in companionable silence, listening to the small noises of the night._

"…so, it doesn't look like anyone's coming soon."

"Probably not."

"I'm bored."

"Yeah."

"I'm _bored_, Ray."

"Yeah, so—oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"So—"

"Just shut up and kiss me."

_Minutes pass. Then, the boy pulls away and smirks, just because he has to have the last word. _"Knew you were in love with me all along, Yamada."


	3. Chapter 3

****_Reviews sincerely appreciated!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

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><p>"Scott?"<p>

"What's up, Mo?"

"What do you think's taking Stella and Ray so long?"

"Uh, what are you talking about?"

A sigh. "They're about as stealthy as two elephants. Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"

"…maybe?"

"…"

"Mo, you know I want our wedding to be perfect. Ray's my best man. It's his job to make me happy."

"And what a job he's doing. Let's hope that Stella doesn't kill him. Or that he doesn't kill her. Scott, you know how bad those two are together! What if they burn the church down? What if they get _arrested?_"

"Calm down, baby. It'll be fine."

"How could you possibly know that? Ray and Stella are like fire on fire—they burn higher when they're exposed to each other."

"Exactly. Now, let's hope those flames turn into flames of lo—"

A pause.

"Wait, don't stop! What were you going to say?"

"Nothing. Not my secret to tell."

"Come on, honey. We're about to get married—what's mine is yours, which means that whatever secrets you have are mine."

"Good point. Still, I'm not sure I can trust you womenfolk to keep your mouths shut, and if Ray finds out, your groom will be sporting a really beautiful black eye as he walks you down the aisle."

"I'd love you anyway, baby."

"Your dad might not let you marry me if I come looking like the hoodlum he's convinced I am."

"I really wanted to elope.'

"And keep Ray from finally confessing to the girl of his dreams? Not likely.'

"…what?"

"Oops."

"Don't give me that, you totally wanted to tell me."

"Never could keep anything from the girl I love."

"And maybe you have a matchmaking streak. Just a eensie, little one."

"Me? No way."

"Aw, is the big, tough, all-American rockstar afraid to be labeled as one of cupid's helpers?"

"Nope. I don't matchmake. I just want my best friend to stop pining over my soon-to-be wife's best friend. Imagine how awkward our Christmas parties would be."

"We could infest our house with mistletoe."

"We could, but why get them together later when now's such a great opportunity. The best man and maid of honor have to get together. It's basically set in stone. The only wild card is Stella."

"Actually—nevermind."

"Sweetheart, you better be joking, because it wasn't two minutes ago when you said, and I quote, that "everything that's mine is yours."'

"You said Ray might give you a black eye. Stella might make me disappear from the face of the earth. We wouldn't be able to get married if I went MIA on you."

"I'm not sure that's quite the right term—but back to the point. I'd protect you."

"Simple as that? Stella's pretty fierce when she wants to hide the fact that she's been crushing on the guy she's professed to hating for the last couple years."

"Please tell me that was a long and complicated way of saying that she likes him too."

"Like? Please, we're talking about love here. The look on her face every time I told her about the girls he's been picking up—priceless. She's got it bad."

"I can imagine. Ray's face when she was dating Jorge was probably just as bad."

"They're really messed up, huh?"

"Not any more than we were, and looked where we ended up."

"Deliriously happy, about to get married, and planning to matchmake our best friends?"

"Exactly."

A content pause. Mo looks into Scott's face. "Scott?"

"Hmm?"

"This is important."

"Shoot."

"You're sure he loves her."

"Positive. Ever since he saw her."

A raised eyebrow. "Even after she spat lemonade in his face?"

"Even then. Ray's never been the kind to give up easy. Kinda like me."

The groom plants a kiss on his soon-to-be wife's mouth, and she smiles under his lips. "Kinda like you."


End file.
